Proximity

Have you ever been close enough to something that you strongly desired, only to have it replaced in an instant by reality?

Have you ever thought of all you want to be true, only to get met with a tepid version of your dreams upon wake?

It’s like a feeling of eating, yet never being hungry, so you’re never satisfied…

…Moments like this make me die on the inside. A place where few have ventured or gone. Where the silence blows like hurricane wind, creating deafing screams in the hollow caves of this place. A place of hope that travels on rays of sun that break through clouds on overcast days; A place of extended patience. A place of solitude. A place of begging my tomorrow to kiss my right now. A place where it feels like torture to wait another day.

And the sun sets, and the moon rises, and then sunlight kisses my face again.

One thousand different decisions could have been made; I feel like I am sometimes a modern Dinah the way things have unfolded. With each trip here, my shell gets a little harder. The distant memory of the tears grows a little fuzzier. Yet the sounds and the heartbreak remain as fresh as the scare behind a popping balloon or breaking glass.

I hate it here. I hate it there. A few decisions have changed lives. And with old eyes, I have watched it all run.

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2 thoughts on “Proximity

  1. My soul battles. It pushes dreams and gets pulled by current reality. I like pushing, but dislike being pulled. What happens when we are stuck between the two, then what?

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