Muddled Understanding

Dear Panamario,

I never knew you like my bestie did, but I knew you all the same, because of her and your influence on her — as only a big brother could. I caught glimpses of what she loved in you. Your charismatic nature; your ability to stay above the Parana-ness of people and busy-bodies; your fierce intelligence and boldness. I saw what she admired about you in the way that you treated people fairly and didn’t mince words for those who were jerks. Ultimately what she shared about you, that I loved the most, was the way you were fearless about your future. You were willing to try the ideas you had in your head, causing you to live your dreams during the day, and not just at night when you sleep.

I know I can’t imagine what your family feels but I know that its a space that won’t easily be mended. I’m praying for Mrs. Panamario and the baby bears as well. I don’t understand why things went this way, but I only hope that the world grows to know the light that you left behind in the legacy you had an opportunity to create. Gummy bears aside, your simple, sweet and personable character is something the world needs more of; not the Trumps or Horsemen of the world. I wish that more gentlemen were like you. You’ll forever be missed, and maybe, when we all get together, Fi can finally pay you back one of the many nuggets of wisdom shared over a meal. I’ll take the picture when you’re done!

Forever in our hearts,


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