Dual duel emotions

When lips close around a lemon wedge,
Spiced with salt — what does the tongue taste?
Is it all the way sour? Sour in some parts?
And what does a lemon have to do with opposite emotions?

Everything.

The purging of the heart, is like matter in a pipe.
Even though there may be nothing else coming into the pipe, without an additional force, there is always going to be some ‘matter’ left in the pipe.
Gravity or pressure acts as the additional force, to empty the pipe all the way out.
If the pipe has to be cleaned, then some additional stuff must go into the pipe, to make sure that there’s no residue left from the former run of matter.

So a heart is akin to a pipe. The heart has stuff in it. We have stuff from previous relationships that’s good; but most of that matter gets moved upstairs, to our head. Our heart, is treated like many people in the Northeast treat their basements. Into it goes the stuff that they’d like to forget, in many cases. The things you don’t use, but can’t seem to throw out. It’s the place where dirty clothes go to get cleaned. The heart is the holder of all soiled things. Our soiled memories from birth and beyond. And without a force coming in, without some cleaning agent action, our heart becomes rusty and we battle with dual or dueling emotions.

We feel like we’ve dealt with an issue, but when we see something that reminds us of that instance, our natural reactions show how little progress we’ve made. How does a heart purge work? How does one take steps toward truly having a clean heart, amidst all that life throws at us?

If life was full of lovely things like birthday surprises of cake and ice cream; job promotions and great health, then perhaps it wouldn’t be hard to have a clean heart. But life is full of not-so-good things as well.

Keeping a clean heart (from a non-religious standpoint–which I will go into in another post) means that we are full of true self investigation AND almost hedonistic in our quest to become better. You cannot become the “you” of tomorrow, gripping firmly to the post of yesterday.

We know what we avoid. We know the crevices in our minds that we do not want to sweep the dirt from out of. We know the locked boxes and double bagged crap (read: poop) that exists within US. Investigation means doing what you would do if you were cleaning out your fridge. 1) Don’t throw the Tupperware away! 2) Open it up!! You have to open the tupperwear to throw away the rotten contents. 3) If it’s in a plastic bag, make sure you don’t have anything useable inside, before you throw it out.

The Tupperware represents things that are good. For example, if you tried to bake cakes growing up, but your cakes were always met with a bad experience, then you may hate to bake. But the BAKING isn’t bad — so bake away! We have to uproot the negativity from the action.
The plastic bags are holding our bad/negative stuff. What do we do when we see an email that reminds us of a bad time? Delete the email? Perhaps. But let’s go deeper. Look at the emotions (from you) in the email. What do you like about what you did? Sure, the overall relationship may have been bad, but, did you do an awesome job of being transparent in a relationship? Don’t lose that!

What I’m saying is — investigate yourself. Probe into the dark areas.

What if it was something bigger than a relationship? What if it was a period where you were dealing with drugs? Or perhaps deeper emotional issues like an eating disorder or rape or abuse?

First, counseling is probably the best route to get over everything. In addition to counseling, God is a magnificent outlet in understanding hurt and pain. What I’m saying is, you have to investigate these painful areas too. Painful because they bring emotional triggers and all sorts of feelings with them — but — by going through counseling and through strengthening your relationship with God, it is possible for one to get into the cracks and crevices as well.

Perhaps in those more dire circumstances, the dueling emotions are even greater!

After investigation, we have to become better.

How?

Do. What. Makes. You. Happy.

(Healthily happy! Sadly, you cannot eat ice cream every day in large amounts and not gain weight!)

Do things that show your light to the world. People are hurting out there. And before you began to do what made you happy, you were hurting too. Be the light to someone’s darkness.. or the salt to someone’s lemon.

PS….HAPPY BIRTHDAY Margaret!!!

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2 thoughts on “Dual duel emotions

  1. It makes alot of sense that for something new to come in the heart, the old stuff has to be evicted. The new issue signs a new lease on the heart. One goes out, one moves in. The old one obviously can’t clean up behind itself because it is completely incapable… it was sloppy, dirty, careless…. leaving behind stains in carpets, yet amazingly noticing all other flaws but its OWN like old food in the sink! Leaving old blood puddles in the crevices of the hearts fridge that takes hours to clean… But then again, the new attitude/issue of the heart sees dirt as an opportunity for cleansing. What needs to happen to get ALL the old boxes, furniture, tables, etc… out of the hearts house? The easiest motivation is to begin to bring in the new stuff so that the old stuff looks awkard…looks horrible in comparison. The new better stuff provides the motivation to put it out ASAP! Now that those wretched left-overs from the heart are boxed up we put the old boxes next to the dumpster….and waste No eyewater unless they are Streaming with Joy. The Bite of the Lemon can now be pleasing…

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