In prayer, I realized something very personal about me. Just to brief you, I have reflection sessions about my life. Sometimes its career, health, family, spirituality, etc.
I started earlier in the day reflecting about my spirituality. My church is going on a corporate fast. The Daniel fast. Lucky for me two very special people are joining me on the fast! My sister said she would join me for the whole thing!!!!!! surprise! Yess! Now we can hold each other accountable and help encourage each other if we slip up here and there. I didn’t expect her to do the whole thing and how fortunate that it ends on her birthday! Fitting right? Now …. What to get her…..?
But in talking about expectations, my group member and dear friend called me to pray with me earlier today. That was a blessing because the night ended up with me thinking and meditating on what I was praying for revelation for, while on the fast. Sometimes, the decisions we make have invisible consequences, when they’re bad/poor decisions. Sometimes they’re very visible…..like getting arrested lol. No, I’m not writing letters from a young convict lol. But! I do have an area in my life where I have made very poor decisions in some regards and just been blinded in others…still related to the same situation. So I was praying to God that He illuminate the way that He would like me to do/handle these situations as they come up…….and what came to me, brought me right back to the start……..my expectations.
In many cases, I am afraid to lay out my expectations to the other people involved. In business, no problem……. In personal life, problem. Lol. Its almost like my expectations are tied with me emotions or my feelings. And you *know* that those will lead you astray every time! I am a sensitive person. I *hate* admitting that, but I am. As a NYer, I am tough. As a person with all brothers, I am tough. *But* when it comes to matters of the heart….I am not lol. Dunno why I threw that in there but anyway……
My expectations are out of alignment. Before I move in any of my personal endeavors that don’t involve business, I have to get this area in alignment! It is causing me to be stagnant and repeatative! That’s not good. So it looks like the fast has started its illumination…….or maybe it was the talk with the bestie! Love to ‘Fi B!!!
Ok…….off to pray more.